Amer Abdullah

What is Amer’s true passion?

Amer is an amateur slacker but dreams of going pro one day. After spending a large part of his adult life overachieving and securing some of life’s most desired opportunities, Amer found that his true passion lay in squandering them.

What did Amer do before comedy?

While studying economics at the University of Chicago, Amer launched a series of restaurants with his father and brother. Misunderstanding the phrase “ground floor opportunity,” he promptly exited the family business and spent the next decade as an investment banker at JP Morgan.

Investment banker? JP Morgan? A DECADE?? How’d that happen?

As part of an online auction, JP came out the highest bidder for Amer’s soul. He made it to “Executive Director” level, which Amer can confirm was as breathtakingly boring as you’re imagining. Amer stopped returning JP’s calls and deserted Wall Street altogether to focus on nonprofit work.

Nonprofit work? What’s this, “rich people” guilt?

Exactly. Alongside four others, Amer established the Pillars Fund to improve the cultural impact of Muslims in America. And with Wall Street’s buttoned-up culture behind him, Amer decided to start experimenting with a number of harsh, imported shaving creams (Amer requests that you do not ask him about this).

Amer passed up Wall Street cheddar for a nonprofit?! WTF?! Lemme guess, he next goes to “find himself?”

Um, exactly. Amer began to secretly frequent the US Consulate in Jerusalem to share his personal story with Palestinian businesspeople and students. Finally, in 2014, he left his active roles in the nonprofit sector and abandoned shaving products altogether.^*

Ok, back to Wall Street, right?

Fresh out of ideas, Amer turned to the only trade that would still take him in: comedy. Inspired by his own acting (and group therapy), Amer completed acting school, produced and performed in various improvised theater pieces, had a brief but unsuccessful dalliance with a mustache, and wrote and produced a web series, “The Money Show.” Above all else, Amer values truth, justice and the Canadian way. Will you be Amer’s friend?

^* In a startling and recently discovered twist, it seems that in 2014 Amer inexplicably and tragically shaved his beard, just moments before they became cool. Little is known at present about the cream he used.

Comedy, then. How’d that go?

Amer’s comedy career was going exactly as planned, meaning nobody was paying for it. Then 2020 hit and the world shut down. Never one to waste a global catastrophe, Amer took over his dad’s restaurant in the middle of a pandemic, when restaurants were the hottest investment in America, right after cruise ships.

Wait. He went BACK to the family business? The one he ditched for JP Morgan?

Yes. After nearly two decades, Amer finally figured out what “ground floor opportunity” meant, and it turned out to mean mopping the ground floor. He has since mastered every station in the kitchen except the one that tells him when to go home.

One restaurant during COVID. That’s enough chaos, right?

Apparently not. Amer also became CEO of Hot Chi, a Chicago-style hot chicken group, after noticing his life still had small pockets of sleep in it. Six years later he has opened six stores, including five grand openings, some drawing more than 4,000 people. That’s roughly the combined attendance of every comedy show he’s ever produced, plus everyone who ever sat through the Money Show.

4,000 people? For CHICKEN?

For chicken. There has been press, TV, and more viral moments than Amer is comfortable admitting. He still can’t explain to his old Wall Street colleagues why a chicken sandwich got more views than any deal he ever closed.

So it’s been all wins, right?

Hardly. Amer has also lost hundreds of thousands of dollars on ventures that didn’t work out, which proves his investment banking training is fully intact. He calls these losses “tuition” at the School of Hard Knocks. Unlike the University of Chicago, it does not offer financial aid.

Did any of this actually matter?

Yes. Amer raised $250,000 to build a field kitchen in Gaza called Sudki’s Kitchen, named after his late father, Sudki. His father taught him how to feed people long before Amer was willing to listen. It is the one thing in this FAQ he won’t joke about.

So what’s next for Amer?

After six years, six stores, and zero days off, Amer has made disappointingly little progress toward going pro as a slacker. He remains committed to the dream. Will you still be Amer’s friend? (He has chicken.)^*

^* Sources close to Amer report that he now smells permanently of fryer oil. Experts say this is more effective than any imported shaving cream.